why?

on saturday i learned about another tragic loss of a child and i can't stop asking why.

last thursday a 4 year old boy was critically injured when an older model TV fell on him when he was climbing on the counter. he was just trying to change out a dvd for him and his brother... a household accident. one minute life is normal and the next, everything falls apart. when i heard about his death i just went into shock and then was overcome with sadness... and of course it stirred up my grief for leah and her family which needed no stirring up. it is still very much at the surface.

i know this child's mother from middle school and high school... we were never great friends or anything, but thanks to facebook, i feel like i know her better. she is one of the most positive people i know, especially on my facebook news feed, and i look forward to her encouraging status updates. even now, she is trying to be positive. she has donated 12 of her son's organs to save other people and wrote that he always wanted to be a super hero, and now he is.

still,  i can't understand why god allows tragic accidents to happen but i try to cling to the idea that everything happens for a reason, that he knows what he is doing... when children are involved, and especially so many lately, i have a much harder time.

in the car, i find myself crying out of nowhere after spending time with my nieces and nephews. i just can't imagine life without them. i am feeling very deeply for my friends who are having to face that reality.